Cold hands, warm shart.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
