How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
