Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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