So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
