Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
