You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
