on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
