some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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