if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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