Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
