We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
