I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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