idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
nutella sex= disaster
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
