It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
