Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize