She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
