She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
