tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Randomize
