Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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