How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
