it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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