Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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