I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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