He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
