yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
