You can't special order awesome
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
