i just wanna soil my oats bro
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
COCAINE IS GR8
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize