I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
