That's intense
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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