I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
