If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
