Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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