He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize