I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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