So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
