Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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