that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
