no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
And then the night went full on bisexual.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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