party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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