he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
