Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
