Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize