Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Four minutes until I can fart!
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
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