Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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