so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
so let's talk penis.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
