I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
