I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
