Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
