I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
