NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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