i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I need mimosas to revive my soul
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
