nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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