No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Is this like a preordered booty call?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize