sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
