SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
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