She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
