Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
