I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
