Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
