Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
