Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
