So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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