i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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