Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
