So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
