all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
