it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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