I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
40s are totally the cure
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize