pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
