I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Its about making memories worth repressing
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
