Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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