I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
