i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We have started to decorate penises.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
