i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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