Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
